Vacation

I just got back from a vacation. Where did I go? Non-veganland! So, about 10 days ago my family had some people over from out of town and my mom made this incredible feast and not a single thing was vegan. Not to blame it on my mom's delicious and tempting cooking, but I caved =/ It's the first time I have ever broken lent. I do realize that quitting smoking, drinking and becoming a vegan may be a little much to handle at once. So I ate it all, I had a little piece of a meat dish which is kinda masked by bulgur, I ate cheese and chocolate later that week and pita bread which I know is vegan but it's still processed. I did feel kinda disappointed in myself but it's the whole pull the arrow back to make it shoot further method (can you tell I'm a Sagittarius?) I had been doing really well but I did kind of feel like it was a lot of pressure. I DEFINITELY plan on being vegan again starting today. Don't get me wrong I didn't go out and eat hamburgers I barely cheated but boy did I notice a difference. My skin started looking not too great, along with my face getting puffy. Mentally I started making some bad choices and went back to old habits. I drank occasionally 2-3 times in 10 days. I smoked a few cigs...in my opinion worse thing of all. How do I feel today? Dehydrated and woke up with a headache. The worst part of this whole thing is that none of it even felt good. The dairy tastes really gross to me, I had a boreg which is fillo dough with cheese and the fillo dough tasted like oily cardboard. The chocolate tasted good but then right after I felt kinda gross. The cigs definately tasted like crap. Even the alcohol I swear I am not making this up. I used to down a margarita and love every ounce but I had to force myself to drink it and get used to the acid taste. I woke up this morning thinking F this! No more of this BS excuse my french but seriously why am I doing things that don't make me feel good? To fit in? to numb some sorta feeling? to get a quick high? 10 days is actually not so bad. I really felt like I was being "bad" for much longer. Look, it's all a learning experience my friends. I swear to you no matter how sh#$y you are feeling (well hopefully you're not, but in case you are). I promise you that you are learning something from it. What did I learn from these 10 days? That first of all I am human and I am not perfect. Second of all I learned that I was on the right track and I need to stay on it. If I get derailed I need to jump back on ASAP. Last but definitely not least, I think I am finally realizing the true meaning of detoxing, decluttering   and just getting rid of the past! It's ok to have nice memories of the fun times and objects or bad food or ex's in your life but in order to make room for healthy meals, healthy relationships, healthy habits   and a true love for yourself you need to get out that broom and do some serious SPRING cleaning to make room for all the wonderful blessings. Happy Palm Sunday everyone I hope this post finds you well
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Love Always,
S