hi there hey there

ok so the whole water fast thing wow that really messed me up. So while I was doing it the first day I felt pretty powerful and got a chance to really think about how food effects us but by day 2 I was getting really weak. Day 3 morning I was ready to kill my mother for suggesting it lol. So when I got home I ate an orange which tasted pretty yummy but it was almost like my tummy was depressed. My stomach was like "you weren't nice to me I don't even want to play with you anymore." Well my stomach definitely believes in revenge! Before I did this fast my stomach was pretty strong, I didnt have a full on six pack but if I kept to my gym schedule my stomach was pretty much almost completely flat most of the time. During the fast it was amazing how flatter and flatter it would get in such a short amount of time. I mean who doesn't love a flat stomach right? but guess what ! As soon as I got off the fast and I started eating ....ugh maybe more like feasting. My body probably was worried that I was starving to death (which I mentally felt like I was). I started eating and eating and eating and I felt like crap. I didn't even have the energy to go to the gym. Then I started eating bread and cheese and eggs oooh and pretty much just was about ready to give up on myself. during this time my stomach or belly started getting bigger and bigger. Really it started looking like a baloon. My jeans started getting tighter and tighter and then I started to panic. I refused to go back down the road of eating unhealthy drinking and smoking cigs. Which I also did btw. So here is what I did. I told myself "breath relax and don't panic!" When you get to that point you kinda feel like oh who cares I am going downhill anyway lest just give up! Trust me the feeling sucks. We are so hard on ourselves sometimes! But guess what? its fine! It's ok to mess up! Especially after nearly torturing yourself by drinking water for 2 and half days! I mean who does that? Well one thing I learned was that I will definitely prepare my body for a fast if I am ever to do it again. Also I think I am more of a juice fast kinda girl. After the juice fast I was ok well from what I remember at least. Anyways so back to square one. big belly decided to go to the gym. I figured after all when I worked out and cheated here and there I still was maintaining and I would just burn off my cheats right? So after skipping the gym for about 2 weeks I started going back. This week I did yoga, bootcamp and cycling and let me tell you I am already starting to feel better and stronger. I learned one thing and one thing only I promise to never stop working out for the rest of my life! Working out makes me happy and keeps me healthy and as long as I am lucky enough to be able to do it I will stick to it and make time for it no matter what! (insert signature here) so now that we have our workouts back on what about nutrition?
ok so today is Feb first and I made a promise to myself that I have to really start cleaning up my act. January was full of cheating and relapses on NY resolution BS but we need to get serious now. Oh I also went to this amazing I mean amazing vegan place called follow your heart which had the best cake I have ever had in my life called the orange something cake. Completely vegan but who knows what the heck is in there probably like a gallon of sugar or something right? I dunno anyways I am not saying I will stop going there but it will definitely be considered a cheat. I started logging in my calories which when you are a raw vegan it doesn't really matter but I have to start losing some weight and not eat out of boredom. This app kinda keeps me in check and reminds me like hey there its only 2 oclock take it easy on the eating missy. oh ya its called my fitness pal. for example one date is like 120 calories woah mama. So my belly is kinda cute but I am ready to get rid of it ASAP. So I also plan on buying 80 10 10 and reading it. Otherwise I just need to stay away from the dairy and bread. More veggies and try to cut down on fruit after like 2 pm? It's so confusing some people say to eat it at night too but just trying to lay off eating to late in general. Alright guys so you may have messed up in January or maybe even today but start now! clean up your diet and go to the gym as many times as you can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!